It’s Easter Sunday and I am so thankful for what I have. I have to bear that in mind as this week has been utterly heartbreaking here for me on the homestead. It’s like everything went to hell in a handbasket. The chickens left the nests they were sitting on, each and every one of them. Even worse was the goats. Monday early evening I lost one of my main herd mommies and her twins in a complicated birth. We did everything we possibly could to save any of them, but it ended up that Bonna died in my arms as my husband strained to get one of the kids out of her. It was horrifying, heart wrenching and traumatic. The only possible positive of that whole situation is that I have her daughter Bonnie from last year here and I pray she delivers safely. Life goes on as it does, there are still things that must be done regardless of how I feel inside. Saturday which was yesterday my 17yr who was putting out hay came running to the house hollering for me. My resident diva, and special pet goat was laboring. This is our first babies from her since I purchased her almost four years ago. She produced 3 dead triplets. I cried, she’s still crying and it has just been awful! Its time like this when I ask myself why do I do this? The answer is simple. I love this life, it is who I am and what I have been struggling to attain for so long. Anguish at times is part of the price I must pay to have the joys that come with this way of living. Now I dread going to the barn, I have 3 more does yet to deliver and am so scared that I am facing more loss. Not only was this an severe emotional blow, this crippled me for this years profits. I usually sell the buckling’s and does that I do not intend to add to the herd for future breeding. So with a heavy heart I went ahead a saved the colostrum for possible future use and pray for better things ahead.